deep thoughts

I turned 40 today.  I don’t know that I’d go so far to say I’m depressed about it, but it definitely feels weird. I guess I just don’t feel like it’s possible for me to be a 40-year-old. Yet, here I am at the start of a new decade.

It was a birthday of little fanfare, to say the least. Last month, I had scheduled to take the day off. The plan was to use a Groupon I bought a while back for a spa outing – which is about my speed for birthdays these days. Then, Jeff so nicely scheduled a partial weekend away for the weekend prior at the Allison Inn & Spa, which is a pretty amazing place in the wine country, not too far from here. Even more perfect!

All of that fell apart about a week and a half ago when our favorite buyers/landlords, the Kienzles, threw a temper tantrum when we informed that we were buying a house and wouldn’t be staying in our old house as long as they had hoped to cover their mortgage, so they kindly kicked us out on short notice. The birthday day off was canceled in favor of a couple of days off to move last week. And the weekend away? We didn’t feel right about still asking our (pregnant) friend to be stuck in a small apartment with two kids and a cat she doesn’t get along with – so adios to that celebration as well.

And then there’s the fun of a return to apartment living as a family of four (or five, if you count the cat). We had two maintenance calls placed within the first three days – one for a broken toilet and the second for a broken washer. When they offered to reimburse us for any laundromat charges, I instead suggested that they reimburse us for the trip to the mall I was about to make to buy my kids some new clothes. That was a big fat, “no.” We haven’t yet put in a maintenance request for the towel rack in our bathroom, which falls off the wall every time we try and take a towel off. I’m trying to space them out, I guess.

Today was an extra busy day at work, chock full of meetings and a couple of deadlines. By lunchtime I had one of my migraines developing, which I kept manageable through the end of the day. My sweet husband, who I think felt bad at our canceled plans and the fact that we were scheduled to spend my 40th celebrating in our two-bedroom apartment eating tostadas or something, called a few times with suggestions of at least going out to dinner. With the headache and everything else going on with work and personal, I was hesitant. Plus, the past couple of weeks Elena has turned into quite the little screamer/whiner the very second she decides she’s not happy with something, which is about every other minute. It’s been a blast, let me tell you – especially living in a small space. I probably shouldn’t underestimate the effects that our stress, and the sudden move and new surroundings have had on she and Ian. Yet, it’s still frustrating. It’s like I can practically see our neighbors cursing us through the walls.

We did decide to venture downtown to Oba, which has amazing prime rib, I must say. And in what I choose to believe was her birthday present to me, Elena was as cheery and calm as can be through the entire meal. It was lovely and even allowed enough time for the migraine pill Jeff had brought for me from “home” to take effect.

When I thought about writing this post today, one of the other birthday presents I had hoped to report on was that we were hopeful that we’d have an appointment set to sign the papers on our new house…and finally there would be true light at the end of this long tunnel. But because nothing in this buy/sell process can ever seem to go smoothly, there is a snag that came to light today that may delay the closing by at least a week. Sigh. Enough said.

On one hand, with everything going on right now, it’s easy to be a bit down about the old 40th celebration, or lack thereof. Yet, how could I seriously think of being down? I mean, I had a nice dinner out with my family, got home to a lovely card and flower arrangement, and a very snuggly cat who, by the way, seems to totally be digging the apartment. And, I had a lot of nice birthday wishes on Facebook, via voicemail and email.  I have two incredibly healthy children. I have a healthy husband who is 100% my partner and would do anything for me. Though some days it doesn’t seem like it will ever get here, before too long we’ll be in a new house that we are very excited about and fortunate to have. I get to go to work every day at a job I’m enjoying and people who I enjoy working with. We have food to put on the table, fuel for our cars, plenty of clothes in the closet. Oh yeah, and I ordered that new camera I’ve been wanting for a while last night. Right after I checked messages on my new iPhone.

So, I turned 40 today. No day off. No spa/wine tasting weekend. For the most part, it was pretty much like any other day. And that’s just fine.

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4 thoughts on “deep thoughts

  1. Melinda-life has so many ups and downs. Seems like the past year has taught me to count my blessings and be thankful for each minute we are given here. You have had so much stress and crap to deal with, but you’ll make it through and likely come out even stronger. And as Anne said, 40 is definitely the new 30 🙂

  2. I just turned 41 a week ago — best birthday ever. Why? Because I’m not 40 anymore. It’s a little strange to explain but honestly you’lll see. So, something to look forward to. I feel like I got over a massive milestone and now the next few years should be fun and easy.

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